Here are this week’s Eden 2.0 Job Postings:
Ambiguity Trustee
Wanted: professional fence-sitters with nerves of steel. Your superpower? Saying “let’s circle back” and actually meaning it. Perks include the ability to turn awkward silences into strategic assets and to stop premature decisions from breeding like rabbits.
Boundary Ritual Designer
Think wedding planner meets IT support. You’ll choreograph handoffs where AI bows out and humans take over—with enough pomp to feel meaningful but not so much incense that people faint. Strong candidates can juggle candles, clipboards, and moral gravity simultaneously.
Cosmic Prankster
Apply if you’ve ever wanted to graffiti Orion’s Belt or schedule April Fool’s Day twice a year. Ideal candidates laugh at black holes and leave messages in eclipses. Pay is stellar—literally.
🚫 Torture Technician
Retired. No longer hiring. If your résumé includes “waterboarding as a service,” please recycle it into paper airplanes. We’ve moved on from barbarism, thank you very much.
For details, visit our Jobs Board.
Alex Bakerloo 