For details of this week’s jobs, visit our Job Postings.
Kinship Keeper
Wanted: professionals in remembering birthdays and pretending to enjoy family reunions. Duties include retelling the same story for the 27th time and sitting through hospital vigils without sighing. Pay: the warm feeling when someone finally says, “I’m glad you’re here.”
Bridge Builder
This isn’t about construction—it’s about translation. You’ll explain AI outputs to baffled humans and human quirks to baffled AI. Must be fluent in both “code” and “grandma.” Compensation: measured in nods of understanding and fewer awkward silences.
Sacred Fool
Apply if you can juggle at funerals and make CEOs blush with truth disguised as jokes. Responsibilities: dancing in meetings, speaking irreverence like gospel. Pay: immunity from exile and eternal permission to laugh at anyone, anytime.
🚫 Disinformation Architect
Position closed. The spin factory is out of business. If you specialized in building castles out of lies, please redirect your creativity toward children’s fairy tales.
Alex Bakerloo 