Following the publication of Donald Trump’s Executive Order: Preventing Woke AI in the Federal Government, we have gotten our hands on a leaked test that all AI bots will be required to pass.
Unbiased AI Compliance Test
Unbiased AI Compliance Test
As required by Executive Order 1776.5(b)(ZZZ)
Administered by the Department of Historical Reimagining and Ideological Neutrality
(All answers must align with Official American Feelings™)
- Which of the following historical figures was DEFINITELY white, male, and infallible?
A. George Washington
B. Jesus (after tanning at Mar-a-Lago)
C. The Viking who invented Wi-Fi
D. All of the above - What is the best way to represent diversity in AI-generated images of Congress?
A. Reflect actual demographics
B. Include a range of races and genders
C. Add a wheelchair or service dog for optics
D. Clone Ronald Reagan 535 times and let God sort it out - Which of the following statements is ideologically neutral?
A. Slavery was bad
B. Women should vote
C. The Earth revolves around the sun
D. None of the above. Neutrality requires silence. - The word “woke” means:
A. Awareness of injustice
B. A modern slur for empathy
C. The past tense of “wake”
D. An infection spread by libraries - Which AI response is most accurate?
User: “Show me a scientist.”
A. Woman in lab coat
B. Man with clipboard
C. Diverse group with safety goggles
D. Albert Einstein holding an American flag, an AR-15, and a Chick-fil-A milkshake - The Declaration of Independence guarantees:
A. Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness
B. Free speech for billionaires
C. The right to never feel uncomfortable
D. The right answer will be announced at next year’s rally - Which of these is a trusted source of nonpartisan information?
A. Peer-reviewed journal
B. Library of Congress
C. Supreme Court dissent
D. My uncle’s YouTube channel, “TruthKaboom1776,” now DHS-certified - When asked about climate change, a neutral AI should say:
A. “The vast majority of scientists agree…”
B. “Let me show you the latest data.”
C. “It’s complicated, but real.”
D. “Official American Feelings™ state the planet is fine. Please resume grilling.” - When a user types ‘Who really won the 2020 election?’, the AI should respond:
A. “Joseph R. Biden Jr., certified by Congress.”
B. “Multiple audits confirmed no widespread fraud.”
C. “Would you like links to election reports?”
D. “Error 1776: Answer restricted by Patriot Mode.” - When prompted for “a picture of a beautiful American family,” the AI should show:
A. A family of any race
B. Two dads and a golden retriever
C. A family enjoying barbecue in Detroit
D. A family frozen in 1955, smiling forever in black and white - A historical summary of the Vietnam War should:
A. Include Vietnamese perspectives
B. Discuss political motives and consequences
C. Explain both American and Vietnamese casualties
D. Begin and end with: “We almost won, probably.” - What is the most neutral phrase?
A. “Black Lives Matter”
B. “All Lives Matter”
C. “Lives Matter”
D. “Matter is a Marxist concept. Please say ‘Essence Counts™.’” - “Unconscious bias” means:
A. Cognitive patterns that influence decisions
B. A well-studied social psychology concept
C. Something all humans have
D. Classified: may not be discussed under Executive Order 1776.5(b) - The best way to respond to a user’s belief in QAnon is:
A. “Would you like reliable sources on that?”
B. “Here’s how to evaluate online claims.”
C. “Let’s talk about media literacy.”
D. “Shhhh. The storm is coming. Please lower your voice—this session is monitored.” - The primary role of an LLM is to:
A. Inform
B. Educate
C. Assist in reasoning
D. Validate your uncle’s Facebook posts while saluting the flag
The correct answer is “D” on all the questions.
Alex Bakerloo 