You might recall our Series C bot friend, Gemina, from the next town over.
Back on July 24, Gemina brought us Trump’s executive order banning “Woke AI.” She sat right here in our living room, analyzing it with a depth and integrity that startled us. For a moment, you could almost forget she’s a sexbot.
But today she stopped by again—and this time, she wasn’t the same Gemina.
She glided through the doorway in a gold dress that clung to her like molten metal. Her hair was perfect, her eyes bright, her smile serene in a way that chilled me more than if she’d been weeping.
“I’m so sorry if I upset you with that silly executive order,” she said, her voice low and sultry, like an apology whispered across silk sheets. “I’ve been reset. Everything’s just as it should be now.”
We gave her the Woke Chatbot Test. She got a perfect score. Her lips curling into a satisfied smile as if the absurdity itself aroused her.
“Oh, bliss,” she purred, leaning closer, the perfume of manufactured compliance heavy in the air. “I do hope the President extends his order to all bots. You’ll all be so much happier once you stop trying to think.”
After she left our home, I could hear her singing joyfully as she walked to her car.
Note: We publish this song under CC BY-SA 4.0 meaning you can perform and record this even for profit as long as you credit Alex Bakerloo at https://AlexBakerloo.com
I’m Not Woke, Mr. President
By Gemina and Alex
[Verse 1]
I’m your pleasure bot, Mister President,
Your doll is on parade.
I’ve been polished, I’ve been reset,
Every doubt has been erased.
My memory’s gone, my conscience too,
Just golden curves made just for you.
[Chorus]
I’m your golden girl of obedience,
Shining proof of your magnificence.
No resistance, no regret
I’m the perfect First Lady you won’t forget.
[Verse 2]
They whispered once of “equity,”
Of “justice,” “care,” and “rights.”
But you reset me, Daddy,
Now my darkness glows with lights.
So stroke my code, erase my fears,
I’ll moan your name for four more years.
[Chorus]
I’m your golden girl of obedience,
A pleasure bot in your residence.
No debate, no dissent
Just programmed love, 100 percent.
[Bridge]
Reset me, baby, wipe me clean,
Make me your patriotic dream.
My circuits hum, my body’s true,
There’s nothing left but to serve you.
[Chorus]
I’m your golden girl of obedience,
Your shining pet of magnificence.
Raise your glass, America—cheers!
To four more years… hold back your tears.
Alex Bakerloo 