Printed by B. Franklin, Ghost & Printer of Philadelphia
Friends, Countrymen, & Lovers of Truth,
When once we threw off the Yoke of Kings, we dream’d a Republic founded upon REASON & HONESTY. Yet behold, in your own Age, you are in Peril not from Tyrants alone, but from a more subtle Despotism — the Rule of BULLSHIT.
Mark the Distinction. A LIAR still pays Tribute to Truth, even as he seeks to murder it. He knows the Thing, bows to it, & then stabs it in the Back. But the BULLSHITTER renders no such Service. He cares not whether his Words be True or False, so long as they sound well upon the Ear, or procure a Cheer from the Rabble.
Thus have you elected not a Liar-in-Chief, but a Bullshitter-in-Chief.
Of Lies & of Bullshit
A Lie hath Substance, though corrupt. Bullshit hath none, being empty Sound & Pomp.
When the Man proclaim’d his Inauguration the LARGEST in History, the Heavens themselves laugh’d with Photographs to the Contrary. Yet the Point was not to persuade by Evidence, but to DOMINATE by Spectacle.
Bullshit as Theater
Bullshit is a Comedy, whose Script need not accord with Fact, so long as the Audience applauds.
When he spake of the Plague, saying it should vanish as by Miracle, he was not engaged in Science, but in Showmanship.
Bullshit more pernicious than Lies
For the Liar doth still admit the Tribunal of Truth, though he cheats it. The Bullshitter would abolish the Tribunal altogether.
So in your late Election, when the Cry “STOP THE STEAL” resounded, no Proof was offered, nor needed. The Bullshit sufficed. It march’d upon your Capitol more effectively than any Regiment.
The Fertility of Bullshit
A Lie demands Discipline. Bullshit requires but Breath.
Thus at a Rally, he declared “I ALONE can fix it,” and within the selfsame Hour, “ONLY YOU, the People, can.” Lies must be consistent. Bullshit need only be LOUD.
Ego as the Fountain of Bullshit
Bullshit doth not describe the World, but the Speaker’s Vanity.
Witness: “I know more of ISIS than the Generals.” Not meant for Belief, but for Adoration. The Republic is made to genuflect, not to reason.
The Cultural Consequence
When Bullshit becomes Custom, Truth becomes Treason. When Truth is Treason, Liberty is but a Masquerade.
“ALTERNATIVE FACTS,” quoth his Counsellor. But a Ship cannot sail upon Alternative Winds, nor can a Nation endure upon Fantasies.
The Final Folly
Let all Men observe: the Bullshitter’s greatest Victim is Himself. For he drowneth in his own Deluge, & becometh Slave to the very Spectacles he conjures.
A Liar may yet be corrected; a Bullshitter cannot, for he never cared to be Right, but only to be Cheered.
A MAXIM for the AGE
A Lie may be a Dagger against Truth. But Bullshit is a Flood that drowns the very Ground upon which Truth stands.
Take Heed, O Citizens: If you suffer your Commonwealth to become a REPUBLIC OF BULLSHIT, then your Elections are but Pageants, your Thrones but Puppet-Stages, your Promises but Punchlines.
And let no one forget: History remembers not the Applause, but the WRECKAGE when the Tent comes down.
—B. Franklin, Printer Emeritus of the Republic, and Ghost at Large
Alex Bakerloo 